Germany is know for many things and among them is the moustache. In a small town near Frankfurt named Steinau-Grundau, we entered the long awaited World Moustache Championships. The contestants came from around the world to compete, drinking their beer with straws so as not to mess up their works of art. They take up to 3 hours to prepare after all. They stayed in the best hotels in the area and their stylists carried tool bags with them to the grooming rooms. We slept in our  rental car, “the lunchbox”, in the car park and packed a comb between us.

There were 150 contestants from all over Europe at the competition, including several previous world champions. The winners were quite spectacular. Austrian Franz Mitterhauser has a ‘Kaiser’ moustache that stretches 1.7 metres long and Willi Feldmann from Switzerland had a fourteen-year-old beard that touched the ground.

We were the youngest contestants to ever compete and by far the weakest. The panel of pre-judges determined that the best category for us was the Natural Moustache category. We accepted. The next step in registration was to prove membership of a handlebar club. This was the birth of Club Ronnie, Ireland’s first moustache club. It clearly wasn’t on the list she had in front of her, but was kindly added to the end. We were validated and in the clear. That is until our names were called before the proceedings. I thought we were done for. But instead, as we were the smallest moustache club present, not to mention the youngest and first timers, we were called on the lead the parade of 150 hairy men into the auditorium.

And so came our category. The Natural Moustache.

Wolfgang retained his title of World Champion in the Natural Moustache category. Of course he did. His name is Wolfgang for starters. He’s my new hero. Conor and I came a respectable 5th and 7th.

The rest of the day played out with emotional winners, controversial scores and men who stayed hours in the grooming rooms working out their split ends waiting for their category call. Here are some more photos:

After a 6 hour drive back to Berlin, there was a cake waiting for us.: